Jessica Lehto - Blog

Jessica Lehto - Blog

03 - The second phone call

20091208Posted by Jessica Sat, August 08, 2015 11:52:26

My brother Niklas was at the hospital when we spoke. He had not yet heard anything from anyone, they had rushed dad away to the emergency and Niklas was still waiting for news. He told me though that he did not believe there was much hope. He had found dad seemingly lifeless, and he told that he and his girlfriend at the time had performed CPR.

It sounded so surreal, that this could even happen at all. I'll write a cliché now, but it felt like this had to be a horrible nightmare that I should be able to wake up from at any time. But I didn't. Instead, a doctor entered the room Niklas and his girlfriend were in while we were still on the phone. He put the phone away without ending the call, so I heard parts of the conversation and it felt so much more surreal.

The doctor spoke of how they had gotten no response resuscitating Tyko, as was the name of my father, and how they had ended the attempts. He never said it straight out, and he spoke in very factual terms, and it was as if the doctor thought Niklas had already been informed. As if this doctor only entered the room to tell about the procedure and how it all went to hell. Though of course in factual terms and a calm manner. I did not hear all of what was being said, the reception wasn't the best. Still, I heard enough. The doctor never said it straight out. I still understood but I denied. What an unusual way of finding something like this out. The call was interrupted, I tried calling back but my brother didn't pick up until a while later. I needed it confirmed, black on white, these words that there were no turning back from, that meant no more denial.

So I spoke with Niklas again, and got it confirmed. Black on white but mainly just an incomprehensible dark. Our father was no more.